Wednesday 30th July

Bellingen to Coffs by Audi via carwash

Chuckling Des picked us up at the marina and whisked us off to the Daylight Saving Bar at Nautilus Resort where mine hosts Craig and Louise forced drinks between our parched lips. The reason for Chuckling Dessie’s mirth was that he’d arranged for the blokes to be deposited at the Pier Hotel for a top up while he dashed off to a residents’ meeting. Not aware that ‘Tradies Night’ involved naked female bar attendants, we stumbled into a saloon heaving with rough men, bikies and bouncing female flesh. These were clearly the sad remnants of Triple M’s 80’s audience and mobbed the Admiral. On reflection it was just the rough men who were ex listeners; the naked females were entirely bemused by the attention switching from their glistening, supple, lithe, toned, tanned (stop me when you get the picture) bodies, to a morbidly obese middle aged man with a hair loss problem. Then again, being a female Triple M listener in the eighties would probably mean you were now 45 plus and no longer able to make a quid from wanton displays of public nudity. Clearly serving beer naked is an art form best exploited by those not born till well after The Admiral had been pulled off by Kerry Packer. The retreat was sounded and we repaired to a bar more consistent with our conservative ways and mode of dress (pants.)
A splendid dinner at the Crying Tiger followed and thence back to the boat in preparation for the departure tomorrow morning early for the Clarence.

As the gloom surrounding the stockmarket continues and the Twin Spirit Superannuants’ disappointment deepens (Twin Dis-Spirited?), a meeting of the remuneration committee has fallen on a cunning plan. A plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel. Following in Alan Lucas’ famous footsteps (Cruising The NSW Coast) we will write a book describing the best and most accessible pubs and clubs on the East Coast (Boozing The NSW Coast;) GPS locations, menus, opening and closing times, raffle nights, beers on tap, dinghy access or tie up all listed in an easy to read reference guide with illustrations and expert commentary. A must-have for the cruising alcoholic and a worthwhile companion for the land bound caravaner. Priced at a very fair $75 and available in good bookshops everywhere or order online. First one hundred orders receive a free set of steak knives and a ticket for the Wednesday night titty bar at The Pier Hotel Coff’s Harbour.